the
fluorescent lights are blinding and the room is filled with flowers and cards
and balloons and teddy bears and familiar faces surround with worried
expressions on their worried faces and hand reach forward and voices fill the
air
a thin short woman wearing white
everything appears with blond hair swooshing in her pony tails and bags under
eyes she is bringing over a tray and lifts the lid in front and an awful aroma
comes from the steaming food and is invading now flared nostrils and before
notice food is gone
mommy and daddy help to get out of
bed and small fragile feet hit the cold concrete floor and the lights are
brighter in narrow pathway with other people in night gowns and wheelchairs
pushing around IV’s and worry hits mommy’s face when she sees a scared look on
face and heart pounds
in a small room with a blue chair
in front and wires surround the white room a man stands tall with dark hair and
glasses and wearing a long white coat I hear sit lean back for testing as he
leans over and he grabs white cords with flat ends
and wires attach
to head there are too many to count
dark haired man stares at machines
as they beep in high pitch now low and back again and hours pass and sleep hits
the
white ceiling and fluorescent lights hit and mommy sits holding papers as the dark haired
man leans over her
“testing is
accurate
it was seizure
childhood
epilepsy
medicine should
prevent
possible to grow
out of”
mommy
wraps arms around tightly and kisses forehead and a few tears start to stream and
her mascara runs down her face and tells what is wrong and everything will be
okay remain strong
through
the narrow walkway past people in wheelchairs and through a door the balloons
and flowers and teddy bears are back and the room is filled with familiar faces
again they are here for support and care and daddy comes over and kisses forehead and you will be okay and it will go away
Summary:
It was the day of brain scans and tests to figure out what
was wrong. An enormous amount of wires were attached to my head and the doctor
watched intently as the brain waves moved. Afterward, he examined the results
and explained to my mother that I had childhood epilepsy. This was a very hard
time in my life, but my entire family was there for me the whole time and I did
grow out of it as the doctor hoped.
This post really caught my attention, maybe because my post involves a hospital trip as well. The descriptive language that was used kept me intrigued and I felt like I was actually in the room with you. I couldn't imagine going through something as devastating as this, but your explanation of your family being there for you leaves any reader with happiness. My favorite part if this entry are the italic quotes that you inserted, they immediately captured my attention as well as gave me insight on what was really going on. I think that this was a job well done and after seeing this, it has given me ideas in improving my own camera eye.
ReplyDeleteThis story is so captivating. The way you talk about your experience and delay giving the reader details about exactly what is happening really wraps the reader in and keeps them interested. I think that the section about seeing your mom start to cry and seeing her mascara run is very powerful. This is a detail that a lot of people could relate to because as a child we think of our parents as being all powerful and so strong. The few moments that we see their vulnerability as a child usually stick out and are very scaring because our rock and our entire support system is showing emotion. I think you did a wonderful job formatting your story to make it flow and add to the overall emotion and feel of the story. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteSam,
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job here of capturing the sense of confusion that you felt as a child. Your camera eye has an erratic pace at first, jumping quickly to different observations. You observations vary too, as you describe visual, audible, and tactile. The way you changed the font for the doctor's statements about testing, as well as the spacing of it, slow down your poem enough for the information to sink in before moving back to your observations again. I also like how, after you learn what happened, your sense of anxiety does not change much, showing that you had to be reassured about something you didn't understand.