I'll give anything not to feel like this anymore
You told me you loved me
It must be why you never answer
It must be why you left
I'll give anything to be numb
Spring Break in Panama
Palm trees, white sand, ocean, and an infinite collection of fools parading the beaches day and night to fulfill our emptiness with drugs, alcohol, and lust filled adventures.
Paradise
7 days in the hotel and a couple suitcases full of liquor
it must be smooth sailing from here
Who the hell drinks sprite?
Where is my whiskey?
I need to feel alive
I need to feel anything
It's almost gone
hold off on it until we make a run to get more
we still got plenty of everclear
drink that
Everclear
95.5% alcohol
illegal to purchase in 16 states including Florida
good thing we brought plenty from home
2:00 AM time to get outside
Why is this damn elevator so slow
Everything is so blurry
This whole trip everybody has been running around singing trying to find molly
I guess they didn't know she's been hiding in my nose
Doors are open time to go
blacktop sidewalk, 5 guys, cooler full of beer and liquor, 2:15, what could go wrong?
Wow why are all those guys standing around this time of night?
everythings so blurry
are they running at us?
john, how'd you get on the ground?
why is you're mouth bleeding?
how did I get on the ground?
my right ear is ringing
did we get jumped?
I dont know my whole body is already numb
"dude get up we have to get away"
Darkness and bright lights are the only thing I can see
collective ambiguity and blurred lines are my only reality
did we get away guys?
where did all those guys go?
who's these two new guys?
"you guys lookin' for a party? I've got some coke and acid if you got the cash."
we don't really want anything
we just got jumped and already got stuff
were just trying to get passed these guys
"that's nothin."
"here look at this baby"
chrome .45
colt m1911
pearl hand grips
holstered in the front of his basketball shorts
must be a respectable person.
"come with me, I got a good party I'm headed to, I'll get you guys in."
what a nice guy
walking again
group of dudes is still there
woman is approaching
battle positions
"please cross the street these guys are on drugs"
"they will kill you"
solid plan
we comply
reach party destination
empty beach
nothing but lonely chairs, sand, and the moonlit waters
"aww man party must be over"
"better hit the next spot"
"you guys wanna buy anything yet?"
sobering up
this guy is pretty sketchy now
situation is going downhill
need to get away.
head to next place
same situation
"Man we gotta get away from this guy"
"I have a plan"
"Man, I don't want any coke yet but ill buy some weed
if you wanna smoke it with me real quick then I'll buy some coke in a bit"
"sounds good man yeah I'll get it out"
plan is clear now
we make fun of him and get him too high to function
come on man what was that?
we can do that in our sleep
here watch this
he's sitting down guys lets make a break for it
we ran then like we had never run before across the darkness of the beach for a mile and a half
I feel so alive for once
I feel free
I cant remember the last time I felt this way
This is a story loosely based on a trip I made to Panama over spring break. It is mostly fictional besides getting jumped.
As Devin acknowledges, she has taken some creative liberties with this camera eye, but we wouldn't necessarily know that if she hadn't told us. I like how you've limited a lot of the lines to thoughts and details. Also, the changes in font size help to physically depict the shifts in awareness and perception that you experienced. This is also expressed through the changes in your writing as your narrator "sobers up," as asking questions shifts to planning ways to get out of the situation described. The shift in tone here is interesting as well because you seem to be saying that the experience, though truly frightening, provided some sort of thrill that your life was needing in order to wake up---from the everyday monotony, from comfort, or maybe just from the behavior that had led to the events you've shared.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I was totally freaked out before I read the last section. Knowing that this is fictional now, I must say that I think you are an amazing writer. I've read some of your other pieces before and they really stand out to me. You are quite imaginative and I like that you know how to incorporate the fiction from the non-fiction. Like Richard said above, the tone that was used is rather frightening, but it's also what keeps the reader engaged and wanting to read more. Overall, while being jumped isn't a good thing, I'm relieved that that's all that happened on your adventure.
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